Songs


Song lyrics written by Nick

If you have music or song files that you would like to contribute to this site please contact the workspace owner.

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On this page:

    Link to Videos of Nick

    Brown Toes

    Audio clip of Brood Ten & comments by Nick

    Hell Ship, lyrics

    Pharmacy Calling-on, lyrics

    Here's to Beer that Tastes Like Beer, lyrics

    While We're All In Leather, lyrics (parody)

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  Videos of Nick

 

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Brown Toes, written for Terry

 

and here are the lyrics:

 

Brown Toes

In the Norther countries it rains and sonws

We got de blizzard and gale

Don't make your lady friend stay there all year

Cause her toes are going to turn pale

 

Coz she likes...

Brown toes, brown toes, 12 months of the year

Brown toes, brown toes, 12 months of the year

 

The city girl she likes pedicures

Thinks purple toenails are fun

But my girl knows that the prettiest toes

Come from wriggling them in the sun

 

The city girl like to dance all night

Go to cabaret and shows

But my girl likes to lie in the sun

While I play with her pretty brown toes

 

The city girl goes to board meetings

Must drink diet coke all day long

But my girl and me we can drink rum punch

Any time that the urge it get strong

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

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Here is an audio clip of Nick singing: Brood Ten

 

This was in preparation to bringing the song to the 2004 Marlboro Ale. The Brood Ten ("Brood X") cicadas were emerging in the DC area, which they do every 17 years. The Foggy Bottom Morris Men were bringing various silly bits to Marlboro on this theme (cast off cicada exoskeletons painted in FBMM kit colors, for example), and this was Nick's wonderful contribution.

 

Nick wrote on 5/24/05:

 

"Brood X is now a song that will debut at Marlboro.

Participation is encouraged, any one who can sing in tune or buzz in time can meet up with me on Friday night for a practice session.

It's not like we'll get to perform it very often.

 

Buzzingly,

Nick"

 

And, here's what he wrote on the email with this sound file attached:

 

"OK You have the general idea.

The song is attached as a (very) rough MP3 so you can see why I need achorus of cicadas for it.

I wrote this today and don't have my concertina with me. I guess I'll work that part out on the way up to Marlboro.

 

Nick"

 

and here are the lyrics:

 

Brood X

Brood Ten

Is here again (rpt)

With their goggly big red eyes they scare your Auntie Ada

Their story fills the magazines you put by to read later

And this is why they're called the periodical cicada

Brood ten

Is here again.

 

Brood ten

Is here again (sing it again)

They have bulging eyes and bellies but they don't have waists or necks

There caracasses will pile up on your patios drives and decks

But all the buggers care about is singing and having sex

B 10, is here again

 

B 10 i h a (x2)

With the trees and bushes full of cicada girls and boys

They've evolved their own vibrators so they don't need any toys

And nobody's surprised to learn the males make all the noise

B 10 i h a

 

Brood X

Is here for sex (x2)

With a few short weeks in Summer to find the perfect mate

Arrive in July or August and they'll find they are too late .. that's why

Cicada lads and lassies all put out on their first date

Brood X is here for sex

 

Buzzy bridge verse with extemporized cicada noises

 

B 10 i h a

B 10 i h a

They're only here for singing and procreational fun

Two thousand and four's their Summer of love but when their loving's done

They won't get any more until two thousand and twenty one

That's when B 10 i h a

 

So if love's buzzing around for you but you don't know where or when

Cast off your shell and spread your wings and grab it there and then

In case it's seventeen years before your chance comes round again

Just like brood ten

Who are here again

 

Brood ten (oh no there's more)

Is here again (so he keeps saying

Brood ten (what was that number?)

Is here again (so is this song)

I thank you for your efforts in learniong this refrain

I'm sorry to have to tell you that it all has been in vain

Cos it's seventeen bloody years before we get to sing it again

But still I hope

To see you all then

That's when Brood ten

Returns again (and this is the end)

 

---Bill Brown

 

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HELL SHIP

 

by Nick Robertshaw

(©1999 Nick Robertshaw)

 

Chorus:

She's a hell ship with a bully mate

A bastard son of malice and hate

The old man's the cruelest ever was born

And together we're sailing round Cape Horn

 

O sailors take heed, you better beware

Of a treacherous whore named Molly Blaire

In the taproom at the Rose and Crown

On the dockside down in Gravesend town

 

While she dizzies you with her smiles and charms

And tumbles you merrily in her arms

She'll be slipping drops into your ale

Then you'll find you've shipped on the Abigail

 

Ch.

 

When you wake you find you're far from shore

With no boots or jacket and a head so sore

And the tyrants ruling over the crew

With the fist and the cat and the black-jack too

 

Ch.

 

If the first mate he don't like your face

You might find yourself in a far worse place

At the bottom of the sea with your head stoved in

By a capstan bar or belaying pin

 

Ch.

 

Off Magellan Straits under mountain seas

We're starved and sick and we damn near freeze

Stood for fourteen days as any can tell

In the gale that blows from the arse of hell

 

Ch.

 

If ever I see dry land once more

I'll jump from the pinrail and swim ashore

And be damned sure that I nevermore sail

On a hell ship like the Abigail

 

Ch.

 


Pharmacy Calling-On

[from Nick Robertshaw: Tune: Earsdon Calling-on; Words: Nick Robertshaw; Apologies: The Watersons

[Found on the Mianus River Morris Song Page, http://envinyata.com/mianus/oldmorrissongs.shtml]

Good people give ear to my story

For we did not get here just by chance

As I praise the pharmaceutical assistance

And the drugs that allow us to dance

For the pharmacy's our habitation

With frequent prescriptions to fill

And the source of our fine medication

The tincture, suspension and pill

 

Now first I will tell of terfanidine

Or Seldane as some know its name

That most efficacious antihistamine

The allergy beater of fame

When the pollen count reaches five hundred

Tis Seldane allows us to breathe

When our sneezing would otherwise have thundered

And caused all our audience to leave

 

And the next wonder drug I will tell of

And I hope you'll forgive me this time

For in parody its quite a problem

Ibuprofen's a hard drug to rhyme

When the wrenches and sprains they would fell us

And the ligaments and muscles are torn

Neither Connors nor Nameth need tell us

Just Nupe it and you'll feel reborn

 

Now the last of my chemical heros

Are two ancient nostrums by birth

And they each bear as good a character

As any old medicine on earth

For one wakes us all up in the morning

And the other all liquids doth crown

For it's caffeine and ethanol in concert

That makes us go up and come down

 

So be thankful now all of you dancers

And as you advance in your years

If you want to keep youthfully capering

You can choose between physick or tears

So remember to thank all your chemicals

When trunkles with vigor you've danced

'Cause you probably couldn't stay vertical

Unless you were chemically enhanced

 

--

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Here's to Beer that Tastes Like Beer

 

Ch:

Here's to beer that tastes like beer!

An amber glass of wholesome cheer

A noble brew that has no peer

Beer that Tastes Like Beer!

 

For centurys the brewers craft

Produced the most exquisite draft

When he brews with what he oughter

Barley malt, hops, yeast and water.

 

Ch

 

Let cheese be cheese and bread be bread

Don't serve us soap and cake instead

While sausages may cause some fear *

For goodness sake let beer be beer!

 

Ch

 

Among the most requested favors

Please avoid exotic flavors

Fruits and nuts and spices queer

Have no place in honest beer!

 

Ch

 

Oh stay the bung don't drive the spile

On concoctions rank with adjuncts bile

Cornflakes, rice and rats from sewers

Fine for cooks but not for brewers

 

Ch

 

So stick with what is plain and true

A beery tasting smelling brew

Then you'll earn our highest rating

Refreshing yet intoxicating!

 

* This line is hard to catch. This is what it sounds like on one of the unused takes.  On the take that was used, it sounds more like "While sausages may bore, some fear."

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While We're All In Leather (parody of "Let Union Be In All Our Hearts" )

by Nick Robertshaw S&M Version

 

 

Let bondage be in all our arts

Let both our wrists be joined as one

We'll end the day as we begun

End it all in leather

 

 

CH: *** Whack *** folly rolly rolly rolly, too ra lido

(flagellate here)

 

 

Soon the lady with the whip'll

Show you how the metal clip'll

Fix the chain onto your nipple

While we're all in leather.

 

 

CH

 

Dungeon basements, Gothic lighting

Piercing, cutting, searing, biting

These are things that we delight in

While we're all in leather.

 

CH

 

 

For a pleasure like no other

Pretend your partner is your mother

All dressed up in latex rubber

While we're all in leather.

 

CH

 

 

Though you think so long you've waited

Before your hunger can be sated

You must be humiliated

While we're all in leather.

 

CH

 

 

You will find it so appealing

When you hear your partner squealing

Hung by flesh-hooks from the ceiling

While we are in leather.

 

 

Addendum by William L. Brown:

 

 

Crack the bull whip as he passes

Wield your paddle 'til he gnashes

Leave your subjects with dull asses

While we are in leather

 

CH


 

 

DVD Quality Download of A Nightmare on Elm Street

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