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On this page:
Link to Videos of Nick
Brown Toes
Audio clip of Brood Ten & comments by Nick
Hell Ship, lyrics
Pharmacy Calling-on, lyrics
Here's to Beer that Tastes Like Beer, lyrics
While We're All In Leather, lyrics (parody)
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Brown Toes, written for Terry
and here are the lyrics:
Brown Toes
In the Norther countries it rains and sonws
We got de blizzard and gale
Don't make your lady friend stay there all year
Cause her toes are going to turn pale
Coz she likes...
Brown toes, brown toes, 12 months of the year
Brown toes, brown toes, 12 months of the year
The city girl she likes pedicures
Thinks purple toenails are fun
But my girl knows that the prettiest toes
Come from wriggling them in the sun
The city girl like to dance all night
Go to cabaret and shows
But my girl likes to lie in the sun
While I play with her pretty brown toes
The city girl goes to board meetings
Must drink diet coke all day long
But my girl and me we can drink rum punch
Any time that the urge it get strong
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Here is an audio clip of Nick singing: Brood Ten
This was in preparation to bringing the song to the 2004 Marlboro Ale. The Brood Ten ("Brood X") cicadas were emerging in the DC area, which they do every 17 years. The Foggy Bottom Morris Men were bringing various silly bits to Marlboro on this theme (cast off cicada exoskeletons painted in FBMM kit colors, for example), and this was Nick's wonderful contribution.
Nick wrote on 5/24/05:
"Brood X is now a song that will debut at Marlboro.
Participation is encouraged, any one who can sing in tune or buzz in time can meet up with me on Friday night for a practice session.
It's not like we'll get to perform it very often.
Buzzingly,
Nick"
And, here's what he wrote on the email with this sound file attached:
"OK You have the general idea.
The song is attached as a (very) rough MP3 so you can see why I need achorus of cicadas for it.
I wrote this today and don't have my concertina with me. I guess I'll work that part out on the way up to Marlboro.
Nick"
and here are the lyrics:
Brood X
Brood Ten
Is here again (rpt)
With their goggly big red eyes they scare your Auntie Ada
Their story fills the magazines you put by to read later
And this is why they're called the periodical cicada
Brood ten
Is here again.
Brood ten
Is here again (sing it again)
They have bulging eyes and bellies but they don't have waists or necks
There caracasses will pile up on your patios drives and decks
But all the buggers care about is singing and having sex
B 10, is here again
B 10 i h a (x2)
With the trees and bushes full of cicada girls and boys
They've evolved their own vibrators so they don't need any toys
And nobody's surprised to learn the males make all the noise
B 10 i h a
Brood X
Is here for sex (x2)
With a few short weeks in Summer to find the perfect mate
Arrive in July or August and they'll find they are too late .. that's why
Cicada lads and lassies all put out on their first date
Brood X is here for sex
Buzzy bridge verse with extemporized cicada noises
B 10 i h a
B 10 i h a
They're only here for singing and procreational fun
Two thousand and four's their Summer of love but when their loving's done
They won't get any more until two thousand and twenty one
That's when B 10 i h a
So if love's buzzing around for you but you don't know where or when
Cast off your shell and spread your wings and grab it there and then
In case it's seventeen years before your chance comes round again
Just like brood ten
Who are here again
Brood ten (oh no there's more)
Is here again (so he keeps saying
Brood ten (what was that number?)
Is here again (so is this song)
I thank you for your efforts in learniong this refrain
I'm sorry to have to tell you that it all has been in vain
Cos it's seventeen bloody years before we get to sing it again
But still I hope
To see you all then
That's when Brood ten
Returns again (and this is the end)
---Bill Brown
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HELL SHIP
by Nick Robertshaw
(©1999 Nick Robertshaw)
Chorus:
She's a hell ship with a bully mate
A bastard son of malice and hate
The old man's the cruelest ever was born
And together we're sailing round Cape Horn
O sailors take heed, you better beware
Of a treacherous whore named Molly Blaire
In the taproom at the Rose and Crown
On the dockside down in Gravesend town
While she dizzies you with her smiles and charms
And tumbles you merrily in her arms
She'll be slipping drops into your ale
Then you'll find you've shipped on the Abigail
Ch.
When you wake you find you're far from shore
With no boots or jacket and a head so sore
And the tyrants ruling over the crew
With the fist and the cat and the black-jack too
Ch.
If the first mate he don't like your face
You might find yourself in a far worse place
At the bottom of the sea with your head stoved in
By a capstan bar or belaying pin
Ch.
Off Magellan Straits under mountain seas
We're starved and sick and we damn near freeze
Stood for fourteen days as any can tell
In the gale that blows from the arse of hell
Ch.
If ever I see dry land once more
I'll jump from the pinrail and swim ashore
And be damned sure that I nevermore sail
On a hell ship like the Abigail
Ch.
Pharmacy Calling-On
[from Nick Robertshaw: Tune: Earsdon Calling-on; Words: Nick Robertshaw; Apologies: The Watersons
[Found on the Mianus River Morris Song Page, http://envinyata.com/mianus/oldmorrissongs.shtml]
Good people give ear to my story
For we did not get here just by chance
As I praise the pharmaceutical assistance
And the drugs that allow us to dance
For the pharmacy's our habitation
With frequent prescriptions to fill
And the source of our fine medication
The tincture, suspension and pill
Now first I will tell of terfanidine
Or Seldane as some know its name
That most efficacious antihistamine
The allergy beater of fame
When the pollen count reaches five hundred
Tis Seldane allows us to breathe
When our sneezing would otherwise have thundered
And caused all our audience to leave
And the next wonder drug I will tell of
And I hope you'll forgive me this time
For in parody its quite a problem
Ibuprofen's a hard drug to rhyme
When the wrenches and sprains they would fell us
And the ligaments and muscles are torn
Neither Connors nor Nameth need tell us
Just Nupe it and you'll feel reborn
Now the last of my chemical heros
Are two ancient nostrums by birth
And they each bear as good a character
As any old medicine on earth
For one wakes us all up in the morning
And the other all liquids doth crown
For it's caffeine and ethanol in concert
That makes us go up and come down
So be thankful now all of you dancers
And as you advance in your years
If you want to keep youthfully capering
You can choose between physick or tears
So remember to thank all your chemicals
When trunkles with vigor you've danced
'Cause you probably couldn't stay vertical
Unless you were chemically enhanced
--
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Here's to Beer that Tastes Like Beer
Ch:
Here's to beer that tastes like beer!
An amber glass of wholesome cheer
A noble brew that has no peer
Beer that Tastes Like Beer!
For centurys the brewers craft
Produced the most exquisite draft
When he brews with what he oughter
Barley malt, hops, yeast and water.
Ch
Let cheese be cheese and bread be bread
Don't serve us soap and cake instead
While sausages may cause some fear *
For goodness sake let beer be beer!
Ch
Among the most requested favors
Please avoid exotic flavors
Fruits and nuts and spices queer
Have no place in honest beer!
Ch
Oh stay the bung don't drive the spile
On concoctions rank with adjuncts bile
Cornflakes, rice and rats from sewers
Fine for cooks but not for brewers
Ch
So stick with what is plain and true
A beery tasting smelling brew
Then you'll earn our highest rating
Refreshing yet intoxicating!
* This line is hard to catch. This is what it sounds like on one of the unused takes. On the take that was used, it sounds more like "While sausages may bore, some fear."
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While We're All In Leather (parody of "Let Union Be In All Our Hearts" )
by Nick Robertshaw S&M Version
Let bondage be in all our arts
Let both our wrists be joined as one
We'll end the day as we begun
End it all in leather
CH: *** Whack *** folly rolly rolly rolly, too ra lido
(flagellate here)
Soon the lady with the whip'll
Show you how the metal clip'll
Fix the chain onto your nipple
While we're all in leather.
CH
Dungeon basements, Gothic lighting
Piercing, cutting, searing, biting
These are things that we delight in
While we're all in leather.
CH
For a pleasure like no other
Pretend your partner is your mother
All dressed up in latex rubber
While we're all in leather.
CH
Though you think so long you've waited
Before your hunger can be sated
You must be humiliated
While we're all in leather.
CH
You will find it so appealing
When you hear your partner squealing
Hung by flesh-hooks from the ceiling
While we are in leather.
Addendum by William L. Brown:
Crack the bull whip as he passes
Wield your paddle 'til he gnashes
Leave your subjects with dull asses
While we are in leather
CH
DVD Quality Download of A Nightmare on Elm Street
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